As adults, school taught us basic facts that could save us from potentially embarrassing situations in which we reveal how naïve we are about things. School doesn’t, however, teach you everything, and there are some things you pick up at an embarrassingly late age — as people in this Reddit thread bravely admit.
Rainbow’s Secret
I re-named a goldfish “rainbow” when I was 7 because it kept changing color every few months. I told friends about this fish for years like it was some mystical kaleidoscope fish. It hit me in the face a couple months ago that the fish wasn’t changing color…my parents were just replacing it when it died without telling me. (christinaorr)
Mom: “Shouldn’t we buy a fish that’s at least the same color?”
Dad: “Na, kids aren’t that bright.” (JahanFODY)
Dad: “Na, kids aren’t that bright.” (JahanFODY)
Regeneration
i thought that when people lose a body part their organism could regenerate the missing part until i was 13+-. if i saw someone with a half of an arm missing i thought “good shit, his arm is almost complete” (BetterCallMyJungler)
Educational TV
I learned that I grew up in a white-trashy family around 10 through television. One night, I was watching tv and Jeff Foxworthy came on. I was a very content only child who to the best of my knowledge got everything they ever wanted and had no idea about things could/needed to be otherwise. Well, ole Jeff was well into his skit and I was avidly listening. “If you watch TV on a TV that sits on top of a broken TV, you might be a redneck.” Wait, what? I’m watching tv sitting on top of a broken TV. “If you have a broken down car sitting in your front yard that hasn’t been moved in years, you might be a Redneck.” We have 5 of those, wth this isn’t normal? “If you have appliances in your yard… If you’ve got shacks in your yard… If you live in a trailer next to a house… If… Etc… You might be a redneck.” I looked around and painfully realized that I was living all of those things. So, that was the day I found out I was a redneck. (rosalynleah)
Yer a redneck, Harry. (kiwijane3)
Bad Doggy
I thought “I feel like a dog in heat” meant that you felt uncomfortably warm, like a dog in hot weather would feel.
I was in the back of my friend’s suburban on a road trip through Southern California when her parents asked if we wanted them to turn on the air conditioning. Yes, please. I feel like a dog in heat! (doublethegin)
French Corporal Punishment
I didn’t know that dusters were used for cleaning dust off furniture until I was in middle school. When I misbehaved, my mother would beat me with a duster so I assumed its only purpose was to be a beating stick. I figured the fuzzy part of it was to provide comfort for my mother’s hand as she hit me. (kennatron)
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